Archive for April, 2008
Hate the French
My god, they are even worse than the Germans.
On a long flight home yesterday I ended up in a row next to a middle aged French woman and her daughter. Daughter sat in the window, woman was in the middle.
Rather than taking up her own daughter’s personal space, she found it necessary to take up mine. For example, when she slept, she turned in my direction which resulted in a fair amount of knee-bumping. In addition, upon returning from a bathroom break I found her reading with her arm covering the entire shared armrest – including my TV control (JetBlue again) – which was totally unacceptable. I just pretended it wasn’t there and stuck my fingers into her arm to adjust the control. Of course, once again, she left the armrest on her daughter’s side totally unattended. The girl wasn’t even using it – she was sleeping.
Fucking French.
Add comment April 27, 2008
Personal TV’s in Airplanes Aren’t Always a Good Thing
JetBlue does it right, because the remote control for the TV is embedded in the armrest.Other airlines like Delta require customers to physically tap the screen itself to adjust the channels, which invariably leads to people poking each-other throughout the flight. For crying out loud, if you’re going to use the touch screen system add a section to the instructional pre-flight video and safety demonstration informing my fellow idiotic passengers that changing the channel requires only a light touch. Pressing harder will get you no where but in trouble with the Angry Subway Guy seated on front of you.
Add comment April 23, 2008
People Who Check Themselves Out in the Reflection Suck
I hate it when the person standing or sitting facing my direction is checking themselves out using the reflection in the window. It’s okay to take a quick glance, but you end up making people feel quite uncomfortable when the quick glance turns into an obsessive non-stop glare with you turning your face from one angle to the next in an effort to look better. It’s also just plain tacky.
Add comment April 16, 2008
How People End Up On My Site…
So WordPress (the tool I use to publish this blog) gives its users a snap shot of search terms that people have used to get to their blogs during the most recent two days… Below is the chart I’m seeing right now…
The moral of the story, as you will see, is that typing “big asses” into Google is one of the best ways to find the Angry Subway Guy blog. It’s currently the 5th highest ranked web site for that term… in the whole wide world, thank you very much… The magic post, of course, is “When Big Assess Squeeze Into Small Spaces, Volume 2“. Like the Godfather and Kill Bill before it… #1 was great but #2 was when I really came into my own as an artist.
Today
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| big assess | 5 |
| fat person in small space | 2 |
| angry people on the subway | 1 |
| angry subway guy | 1 |
| old asian lady subway | 1 |
| angry old guy | 1 |
Yesterday
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| big assess | 2 |
| flying puss pimple | 1 |
| fat guys in a small coat | 1 |
| all categories small asses | 1 |
| subway squeeze 2 | 1 |
| “i hate the subway” | 1 |
| women legs wide open | 1 |
OKay just one more observation… “flying puss pimple”??? Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?…
Add comment April 11, 2008
The Key to Sanity
Get to work late.
Get on the train at 9am or later. Lots of other people will be around, but the extremities of the train will always be less crowded due to the fact that most of the neurotic folks who live in this town must be right on front of the exit turnstiles when the train pulls into their stop.
Ride on the first or last car. You’re guaranteed to have more personal space than you will anywhere else. And you are even likely to get a seat within a few stops — if you aren’t already seated, that is.
I almost regret writing this post… But so few people read this shit anyway, so why not?
Add comment April 10, 2008
How To Fix It
This is going to piss off some people… BUT
The solution to the subway problem is tiered pricing.
Idea is a separate section or preferably a whole different “alongside” system that is business class…
It wouldn’t even need to be that much more expensive. Even a $1 daily difference would result in a monthly total that would probably segregate the subways into two classes — the subway haves and subway have-nots [plus the homeless and other dregs of society].
Why does it work? Some people will always go for the savings while others will pony up for a closer chance at sanity. And it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Angry Subway Guru
1 comment April 8, 2008
Smelled Like Piss. But I Was Trapped.
Walked into a train during rush hour this afternoon and ended up standing too-close-for-comfort to a stinky-ass homeless dude. He was sitting a few feet away from my position, just stinking up the joint and peeling an orange (which clung-to and accentuated — rather than masked – his foul odor.)
I hadn’t realized I was walking into a stink-fest until I was already packed into place… The smell hit me about the same time as I noticed a girl sitting below me covering her nose with her scarf.
Fortunately, I only had to ride for a few stops with this menace… And hopefully I didn’t get sick sniffing-in whatever god-awful disease molecules were spreading off his wretched clothing, hair and body…
What really bothered me most though may have that some people were actually sitting right next to him. As if there wasn’t some crazy stinky ass filthy homeless guy sitting right next to them.
I’m telling you, you’d NEVER catch the Angry Subway Guy sitting anywhere near one of those mofos. You’d better believe that I’d get up toot-fast… And if I wasn’t trapped this afternoon with only three stops to my destination, I certainly would’ve tried to hop into another car first chance I got.
Stinky bastards…
4 comments April 1, 2008
